Musings from a 9 year old

From Em, who came up with these words of wisdom for the rehearsal place cards:

The limbo will be the next Olympic sport.

Chicken won't cross your road but frog will.

Paris Hilton will be the next president.

Recycle your dryer lint by making sweaters.

You will find out you have a long lost Chinese grandpa that likes ramen noodles.

Beware your toenails will grow rapidly.

You may stop snoring if you roll on your back, but you will stop snoring if you get a nose job.

Beware your shower is more dangerous than you think.

Congrats you have received a deluxe line! (_______)

Eat more sushi!

Don't hit moose with manes!

You will inherit a big fortune...cookie.

You will wake up very confused in Cuba, wearing a pig costume with an apple in your mouth.

Chicken is in your future.

You will earn many new friends when you join pie eaters anonymous.

Ping-pong balls will eat you!

For your next meal, eat the free samples at the grocery store.

This will explode in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...0.

Brush your teeth after you barf.

If you own a pair of red shoes you will always have a clown as a friend.

Beware, no one ever really forgets a bad haircut.

You will soon realize you have glowing stinky cheese in your freezer.

Beware hairball season is coming.

You will become a giant peanut!

You will soon learn how to ask "Where is the bathroom?" in 50 languages.

Happiness is a pair of fuzzy slippers.

You will dive sometime soon.